5 Reasons why You should Date a Power Equipment Guy

The Power Equipment Guy, your lost unsung hero. The last hope for the American Dream. Guys who work at Power Equipment stores are often forgotten in this very non-sexy industry. But here are some very good reasons why Power Equipment guys make the perfect mate.
1. Versatile All Day long these guys deal with multiple brands of equipment. Maybe they start off selling equipment and by lunch they have done the receiving, sold parts, changed a spark plug and done the inventory. This kind of versatility means the power equipment guy can handle any dating situation from high profile dinner dates to staying in and catching a movie on the couch. 2. Caring When old Mrs. Johnson comes into the shop, your power equipment guy must carefully explain why her machine is not covered under warranty for having bad gas in it. Turning a sticky situation into a positive shows he is more than able to carefully listen to all of your needs are requests. No matter how mundane they are. 3. Handy Repairing lawnmowers and weed trimmers requires advanced problem solving skills for multiple projects – all day long. Hanging up your doilies or building your favorite new Pinterest planter will be child’s play for the Power Equipment guy. There is nothing he can’t accomplish.
4. Reliable There is nobody more reliable than your neighborhood power equipment guy with maybe the exception for military, firefighters and cops. In Snow storms, ice Storms who is there? The power equipment guy. He shows up to make sure that millions of people can snow blow out of their driveways. In the summer, no blade of grass goes uncut because he was there to make sure your mower is running smoothly. Also, when the power is out, who has power? This guy. 5. Chiseled Good Looks Ok, maybe this one is taking this a little too far. I mean most of these guys probably won’t win a beauty contest, but the slight odor of 89 fuel can be endearing. If there is one thing I can say about these guys is that hard work produces scars, and girls dig scars. Actually, forget about this one and refer back to points 1 thru 4.
Power Equipment Guys are the Southern Bells of Men. Their grace and knowledge should charm any lady looking for a real, decent man. So next time you are looking for a date on Match or Tinder don’t be afraid to walk on down to your local store and chat one of these guys up!

Article: Written in total jest.

Top 5 Worst Snow Shovels

I am writing this article as someone who is from NH and knows a thing or two about shoveling snow. I have owned every snow shovel I talk about about.  I also have the bad back to go along with it!  This article is written in jest.

5. The Garant 30 Inch Steel Blade

Ha, Good Luck lifting snow with this one.  If you want to scream after every snow shovel than this is for you.  With its smooth surface snow will not stick, Good Points!  The bad side the snow will not stick at all.  You could be in for a good lesson in patience and balance with this shovel. I give it 2 winters before you snap the handle in half and get something else.

4. The Suncast 22 Inch Scoop with Wear Strip.

Come on people, what is it 1920?  Now I know some of you may say it is used for arenas and public areas but really this “Scoop” is into ideal for shoveling through a whole winter. Much Like a plow once the banks get to high where are you going to scoop the snow after, Mary Poppins

3.  The Suncast Double Grip Snow Shovel

Seriously? This may be over thinking a Snow Shovel.  I am glad our engineering degrees are going to redesigning the snow shovel? This shovel comes with a second foldable grip, because you couldn’t possibly use the shaft to hold on to.   I think we are abusing the term “Ergonomic” in anything built these days.

2. The Garant Alpine 30-Inch Poly Snow Pusher.

The description has it approved for “intense and continuous use” I am not sure what they mean by intense but as the name suggests this shovel is little more than a snow pusher.

1.  The True Temper Snow Boss:

While the one-piece “Ergonomic Aluminum Handle” suggests easy lifting of snow. The design of this handle and bucket will have you praying you only get 3 inches on snow a year. Good luck if you live in the New England area with this shovel.   I would call this a Georgia Shovel. Made to shovel Sunshine not snow.

Out of all the things that make me dread snow shovels metal edges on these things will drive you insane.  Go in for a strong bite of the snow and the metal edge will almost always catch on the pavement and rip your arm off.  While buying a snowblower would be easier, some of us like the exercise. 

So in closing Snow Sucks, Shoveling snow sucks.  Move down South.